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:iconjetsetg0:
First of all, I like how mysterious everything was. That kept me reading and wanting for more. I also like gore and stuff.. the story has some hints of it for me and I love that. The description is great but I think you could do better.

The flow could be better with the right spacing and such.. the paragraphs to be exact. I would like some paragraphs to be broken down to parts so it would be easier to read and add up to the vision/effect.

Other than that, great job! I love it. The suspense is settling in my mind. I would definitely want the continuation.
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:iconcuddlepuss:
Cuddlepuss Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you so much. I know I have problems with spacings / paragraphs, and sometimes descriptions.

I will work on it some more, and will most likely carry it on.
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:iconjetsetg0:
jetsetg0 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013
You're most welcome! Glad to help. :D

I will wait for that!
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:iconcuddlepuss:
Cuddlepuss Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Alright, series number 3 looks like it's off the ground.
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:iconjetsetg0:
jetsetg0 Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2013
Coolness.
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